on complicated relationships

Today I ran into
the mother of a former friend.
We exhanged pleasantries
while the younger sister glared at me -
Nothing's secret.
I thought about how the friendship fell apart -
no fight, no words, just a gradual
stumble and fade, when she stopped
talking to me.
Sometimes I still wish she knew
that back then was the time
when I broke up with my boyfriend and
my favorite aunt died and I was too tired
to explain how I couldn't talk to anyone.

And on the other side my ex has finally moved on -
there's another someone I don't talk to,
another relationship that unwound messily.
Sometimes I want to take what's in my head,
dump it out in front of people, and say:
"See, this is the mess
that I have to jump over
before I can fix what's wrong here,"
upon which
the offending party would nod
and say Bitch, you are selfish
and conceited,
but at least I would have made the effort.