tired

Sometimes, I'm sick of it all.
Sitting scribbling about lost chances,
stupid boys who let me down,
and all that other bullshit.
Sometimes I'm even sick of line breaks.

I'm tired of frayed nerve endings in the mornings and how I can't seem to talk to anyone, and not knowing what to do, and sticky heat, and I'm tired of being tired, too. It's that purposeless tiredness: it's not because I'm busy and exhausted, it's because I'm lazy and carrying around the accumulated tiredness of being too bored to even go to sleep.

Reactionary:
My ex has found a new girlfriend and I don't even care, really (I mean I broke his heart and all). It's just that things feel like a contest and too often I feel like I'm losing. I can tally up three sparks of interest and two point five rejections in the past nine months. And he's telling her about that stupid girl who did a stupid girl thing because she was enough of a bitch to be confused about what she wanted.