carnival

You+I must know
that I actually love this (mess)
this glory -

Last night running into the ocean in the darklight moonlight, salty jumping over waves & spray splashing, salt&seawater and the trail of glowing moonlight on the living moving ocean - laughter and sneaking up with seaweed

Sitting by the window playing Belle & Sebastian while my mom & 2nd cousin play cribbage in the dining room

The prospect of a movie and snacks later

Three books of e. e. cummings poetry & essays in the living room on loan from the library

Buying candy and going to the movies

You must know
That I still view the world as a carnival after everything, the battered broken time and the scary thoughts and the darkest things and disappointments-
even through the restlessness, the laziness, the feeling of not-going-anywhere and scared-of-moving-forward,
and yes the heartbreak mostly,
It's still a lightsoundfilled carnival with colors in the trees & sunlightpatterns and the road can still lead anywhere I know it,
there are still treasures & gold and salty seaweed nights
And the ferris wheel outside of the abandoned theatre can show you the sky,
you know